On this page, I will present generally very conservative views, sometimes comical opinions, pictures and cartoons, all from a conservative Christian perspective. These posts will not be mine --- I'm just passing them on from other sources!

Monday, January 16, 2012

Funny Graffiti

3D graffiti stairs painted on a hallway wall and floor.

We think of graffiti as something contemporary, but it has been around for centuries. In ancient Rome, when you had a written message for the public, you scratched it on a wall. What else could you do? You didn't have a fax machine, a photocopier, or the World Wide Web. You couldn't even take out an ad in a newspaper.

The walls of Pompeii, preserved for two thousand years under volcanic ash, are marked with numerous examples of this Roman custom. Here is some ancient graffiti from the walls of Pompeii:

  • Successus was here.
  • Gaius Julius Primigenius was here. Why are you late?
  • Lovers, like bees, lead a honey-sweet life.
  • I don't want to sell my husband.
  • Burglar, watch out!
  • Someone at whose table I do not dine, Lucius Istacidius, is a barbarian to me.
  • The fruit sellers ask you to elect Marcus Holconius Priscus as aedile.
  • I am amazed, o wall, that you have not collapsed and fallen, since you must bear the tedious stupidities of so many scrawlers.

The custom of wall writing has occurred worldwide and continues to the present, though advances in the technology of paint have made it more of an opportunity both for art and for defacement on a grand scale. But it was the example of Pompeii that gave the world, and the English language, an Italian word for it: graffiti.

Graffiti probably reached its peak of popularity in the 70's. There was so much political activism, social activism, poetry, pot and deep thoughts, and not an easy way to anonymously express your ideas. These days, the internet provides much of a relief valve for what has long been expressed in graffiti

Some Funny Bathroom Graffiti

Sign above urinal:
Please do not throw cigarette butts in the urinal.
Scrawled underneath:
It makes them soggy and hard to light.


"Bad spellers untie!!!"


"Roses are red
Violets are blue
Most poems rhyme
But this one doesn't."


(An arrow pointing to the toilet paper...)
"Another fine abrasive from your friends at 3M"


"TOILET CAMERA IS FOR RESEARCH USE ONLY"


"Time is what keeps everything from happening all at once."


"Humpty Dumpty was pushed, man!"


"Always remember: Beauty is only a light switch away."


"If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?"


"Help, the paranoids are after me!"


(Under a sign that said: "Employees Must Wash Hands")
I waited and waited, but I finally washed them myself.


when I was born, I was so surprised
I couldn't speak for a year and a half!


Sign posted in a thousand bathrooms:
We aim to please! You aim too! Please!


Sign seen at a swimming pool:
Welcome to our ool.
Notice there's no P in it.
Please keep it that way.


On an elevator in New York:
"Elevator out of order."
Scribbled underneath:
"Try the ones across the street."


While I wait for the perfect woman to come along,
I'm having a lot of fun with the imperfect ones!


I get enough exercise just pushing my luck !


Deja Moo : The feeling you've heard this bull before !


God must love stupid people...He made so many !


WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.


Never put off to tomorrow
what you can avoid altogether


drive carefully ....don’t kill a child
-wait for a lawyer


*LOST! One science teacher after last Thursday’s experiment


Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance


just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.


Happiness can’t buy money


Smile -things may get worse more slowly


Death is hereditary


Always be sincere ……even when you don’t mean it


The road to success is usually under construction



If you’re not confused, you don’t have all the facts


Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now!

A good friend helps you move. A great friend helps you move bodies.


Wet paint! (This is not an instruction!)


I’m getting outta this one horse town-
Just as soon as it’s my turn to ride the horse.


I like failure because it’s so easy to achieve!


Cakes- 66 cents
Upside down cakes- 99 cents.


Don’t judge someone’s power by the size of their exhaust.


Mona Lisa was framed!


Keep breathing. You never know when life just might be worth living again.


Use caution- 70% of all people were created by accidents.


Graffiti should be obscene and not heard


Old lawyers never die. They just lose their appeal.


My job is such a closely guarded secret, even I don’t know what I’m doing


Roget’s thesaurus dominates, regulates, rules, ok, alright, adequately!


A socialist is someone who has nothing and wants to share it with everyone else.


I like to reminisce about the things I never did
Back in the old days that never were
When I was much better than I ever was


Death is nature’s way of telling you it’s time to slow down.


I’d give my left arm to be ambidextrous.


Be alert! We need more lerts.


I became self employed and I still have a jerk for a boss.


NPR: A Safe Zone (There’s no radio activity there)


Every day 10 people die on a bicycle. 6 seriously.


Dancing is the perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.


If you can keep your head when everyone else is losing theirs, maybe you haven’t understood the situation.

From: www.innocentenglish.com/funny-graffiti.html

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Jews and Muslims

Received by E-mail

(an interesting point of view and well worth the 50 seconds it takes to read.)

The Global Islamic population is approximately (1,200,000,000)

ONE-BILLION TWO-HUNDRED MILLION, or 20% of the world's population.

They have received the following Nobel Prizes:

Literature :
1988 - Najib MahfooPeace:
1978 - Mohamed Anwar El-Sadat
1994 - Yaser Arafat:
1990 - Elias James Corey
1999 - Ahmed Zewai

Economics: (zero)

Physics: (zero)

Medicine:
1960 - Peter Brian Medawar
1998 - Ferid Mourad

TOTAL: 7 SEVEN
____________________________________

The Global Jewish population is approximately (14,000,000)
-- Only FOURTEEN MILLION Or about 0.02% of the world's population.

They have received the following Nobel Prizes:

Literature:
1910 - Paul Heyse
1927 - Henri Bergson
1958 - Boris Pasternak
1966 - Shmuel Yosef Agnon
1966 - Nelly Sachs
1976 - Saul Bellow
1978 - Isaac Bashevis Singer
1981 - Elias Canetti
1987 - Joseph Brodsky
1991 - Nadine Gordimer

WorldPeace:
1911 - Alfred Fried
1911 - Tobias Michael Carel Asser
1968 - Rene Cassin
1973 - Henry Kissinger
1978 - Menachem Begin
1986 - Elie Wiesel
1994 - Shimon Peres
1994 - Yitzhak Rabin

Physics:
1905 - Adolph Von Baeyer
1906 - Henri Moissan
1907 - Albert Abraham Michelson
1908 - Gabriel Lippmann
1910 - Otto Wallach
1915 - Richard Willstaetter
1918 - Fritz Haber
1921 - Albert Einstein
1922 - Niels Bohr
1925 - James Franck
1925 - Gustav Hertz
1943 - Gustav Stern
1943 - George Charles de Hevesy
1944 - Isidor Issac Rabi
1952 - Felix Bloch
1954 - Max Born
1958 - Igor Tamm
1959 - Emilio Segre
1960 - Donald A. Glaser
1961 - Robert Hofstadter
1961 - Melvin Calvin
1962 - Lev Davidovich Landau
1962 - Max Ferdinand Perutz
1965 - Richard Phil lips Feynman
1965 - Julian Schwinger
1969 - Murray Gell-Mann
1971 - Dennis Gabor
1972 - William Howard Stein
1973 - Brian David Josephson
1975 - Benjamin Mottleson
1976 - Burton Richter
1977 - Ilya Prigogine
1978 - Arno Allan Penzias
1978 - Peter L Kapitza
1979 - Stephen Weinberg
1979 - Sheldon Glashow
1979 - Herbert Charles Brown
1980 - Paul Berg
1980 - Walter Gilbert
1981 - Roald Hoffmann
1982 - Aaron Klug
1985 - Albert A. Hauptman
1985 - Jerome Karle
1986 - Dudley R. Herschbach
1988 - Robert Huber
1988 - Leon Lederman
1988 - Melvin Schwartz
1988 - Jack Steinberger
1989 - Sidney Altman
1990 - Jerome Friedman
1992 - Rudolph Marcus
1995 - Martin Perl
2000 - Alan J. Heeger

Economics:
1970 - Paul Anthony Samuelson
1971 - Simon Kuznets
1972 - Kenneth Joseph Arrow
1975 - Leonid Kantorovich
1976 - Mil ton Friedman
1978 - Herbert A. Simon
1980 - Lawrence Robert Klein
1985 - Franco Modigliani
1987 - Robert M. Solow
1990 - Harry Markowitz
1990 - Merton Miller
1992 - Gary Becker
1993 - Robert Fogel

Medicine:
1908 - Elie Metchnikoff
1908 - Paul Erlich
1914 - Robert Barany
1922 - Otto Meyerhof
1930 - Karl Landsteiner
1931 - Otto Warburg
1936 - Otto Loewi
1944 - Joseph Erlanger
1944 - Herbert Spencer Gasser
1945 - Ernst Boris Chain
1946 - Hermann Joseph Muller
1950 - Tadeus Reichstein
1952 - Selman Abraham Waksman
1953 - Hans Krebs
1953 - Fritz Albert Lipmann
1958 - Joshua Lederberg
1959 - Arthur Kornberg
1964 - Konrad Bloch
1965 - Francois Jacob
1965 - Andre Lwoff
1967 - George Wald
1968 - Marshall W. Nirenberg
1969 - Salvador Luria
1970 - Julius Axelrod
1970 - Sir Bernard Katz
1972 - Gerald Maurice Edelman
1975 - Howard Martin Temin
1976 - Baruch S. Blumberg
1977 - Roselyn Sussman Yalow
1978 - Daniel Nathans
1980 - Baruj Benacerraf
1984 - Cesar Milstein
1985 - Michael Stuart Brown
1985 - Joseph L. Goldstein
1986 - Stanley Cohen [& Rita Levi-Montalcini]
1988 - Gertrude Elion
1989 - Harold Varmus
1991 - Erwin Neher
1991 - Bert Sakmann
1993 - Richard J. Roberts
1993 - Phillip Sharp
1994 - Alfred Gilman
1995 - Edward B. Lewis

TOTAL: 129 ONE HUNDRED TWENTY NINE!

The Jews are NOT promoting brain washing children in military training camps, teaching them how to blow themselves up and cause maximum deaths of Jews and other non Muslims!

The Jews don't hijack planes, nor kill athletes at the Olympics, or blow themselves up in German restaurants.

There is NOT one single Jew that has destroyed a church.

There is NOT a single Jew that protests by killing people.

The Jews don't traffic slaves, nor have leaders calling for Jihad and death to all the Infidels.

Perhaps the world's Muslims should consider investing more in standard education and less in blaming the Jews for all their problems.

Muslims must ask 'what can they do for humankind' before they demand that humankind respects them.

Regardless of your feelings about the crisis between Israel and the Palestinians and Arab neighbors, even if you believe there is more culpability on Israel's part, the following two sentences really say it all:

'If the Arabs put down their weapons today, there would be no more violence.
If the Jews put down their weapons today, there would be no more Israel ...'

Benjamin Netanyahu

amen!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

The Cab Ride

Received by e-mail -


I arrived at the address and honked the horn. After waiting a few minutes I walked to the door and knocked.. 'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.
 
After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940's movie.
 
By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.
 
There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.
 
'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.
 
She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.
 
She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her.. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated'.
 
'Oh, you're such a good boy', she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address and then asked, 'Could you drive through downtown?'
 
'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly..
 
'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice'.
 
I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued in a soft voice... 'The doctor says I don't have very long.' I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.
 
'What route would you like me to take?' I asked.
 
For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.
 
We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.
 
Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.
 
As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired. Let's go now'.
 
We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.
 
Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her.
 
I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.
 
'How much do I owe you?' she asked, reaching into her purse.
 
'Nothing,' I said
 
'You have to make a living,' she answered.
 
'There are other passengers,' I responded.
 
Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.
 
'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said.
'Thank you.'
 
I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light.. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life..
 
I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift?
What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?
 
On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.
 
We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.
 
But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.
 
PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID ~BUT~THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.
 
We often need a reminder that often it is the random acts of kindness that most benefit all of us.
 

"Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance."

Monday, September 21, 2009

rules for a happy life

Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.


Life is simpler when you plough around the stumps.


The trouble with a milk cow is she won't stay milked.


Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads. (This is a modern adaptation of the original quote by Oscar Wilde: "Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them more.")


Don't corner something meaner than you.


Don't wrestle with pigs: you'll get all muddy and the pigs will love it. (Based on a quote attributed to Cyrus S Ching, 1876-1967, US industrialist and labour-relations pioneer, "I learned long ago never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.")


Most of the stuff people worry about never happens.